Go!

Some Guy once remarked that getting there is half the fun. That Guy was absolutely right. And so I present to you the unofficial guide to the various ways to travel around South Africa.

THE BAZ BUS
The hop-on-hop-off, no-brainer method of transport. Buy one ticket and the Baz will drop you in virtually any little town between Cape Town and the Elephant Coast, with door-to-door service. It's safe, efficient and simple and is a great way to meet other travelers. So, knowing as you all do by now that I am an arrogant snob, it should come as no surprise that I avoid the Baz like the plague.

THE REGULAR BUS
An excellent option if you are deviating from the Baz's religiously coastal territory, and much cheaper. Still too expensive for the general public (read: black people).

MINIBUS TAXIS
Lekker, Brother! I've raved about these in a previous post and I still maintain that this is the most 'African' way to travel over both short and long distances. Dirt cheap, full of characters and willing to stop in even the seediest township (slum), these babies leave when they're full and arrive when they Damn well feel like! It goes without saying then that you shouldn't use the minibus if you are (1) in a hurry and (2) not aware that the ride may in fact cost you everything you own.

CAR RENTAL
Go for it, man! Oh by the way, don't leave the car anywhere because it's going to get stolen.

HITCH HIKING
The official story is that no one here in their right mind would willingly pull to the side of the road here - incidents of carjacking are simply too common. However, if you are an unassuming SWM with a backpack then you may be in luck, because there are a number of very nice people here who will gladly take you on board for an hour or two for the price of a Diet Coke. Most of the time you aren't alone, anyway. The pickup truck that drove me from Buffalo Bay to Knysna had 18 Africans in the back.

TRAIN
Wouldn't do it if I was you. Train travel is considered safe if and only if (a) you are not near a major urban center and (b) you are sitting in the 1st class cabin and (c) there is an armed guard on board. Sounds odd, but trains often serve as the only link between the townships of many cities and the cities themselves. This means that the clientele is almost 100% impoverished Africans, and that you, silly white boy with the Ipod, are hopelessly outnumbered. I rode the train for an hour between Stellenbosch and Cape Town and the experience was something out of Boyz in da Hood. Only funny if you live.

And there you have it. Of course there are other ways to make tracks in this country (fly, walk, taxi) but they aren't much different than back home and therefore warrant no discussion. Although, I must say that, unlike in Edmonton, the cabbies here don't smell bad and even seem to know where they are going.