Wild Gravity

I don't like heights.

No, actually I hate them. Standing in high places makes me dizzy. It makes me nauseous. It makes me irritable, uncomfortable, and generally unhappy. It doesn't have to be high... the average 3rd floor balcony of any apartment block is enough to send me retreating like a French soldier.

You can imagine then, that as I stood at the top of the Bloukrans River Bridge, near Storms River, with my toes curled over the edge, looking between my feet at the bottom of the gorge 216m away, I was feeling a tad nervous.

216m? Why that's more than:

a) A 53-storey building
b) The average rushing offense for the Oakland Raiders in a season
c) 215m!

Right, pretty high. So why had I chosen to put myself in a position that would so obviously scare the Dickens out of me? Because I was bungee jumping. From the highest bungee platform on Earth.

Here's how it works: pay your 580 Rand and listen to a 5 minute pep talk. Then walk from the side of the gorge tot he platform in the center. The walkway floor is only an iron grate, so you're already fighting off demons on the way. Get to the middle, have the rope attached to your ankle by some dude, 54321 and you're flying. It's a tight, professional operation and they even have a DJ spinning tracks on the platform so you can listen to Jay-Z's phat beats while pissing your pants in anticipation.

Now I know that bungee jumping has been around for ages and that I'm not exactly conquering new ground by doing it. But have YOU ever tried? I'm not often at a loss for words, but I would have a lot of difficulty describing to you how I felt during those first few seconds of freefall. Your body responds to every sensation (the rushing air, the instantaneous vertigo, the eerie silence) by pumping adrenaline, so by the time you reach the apex of the jump and begin recoiling into a spin towards the top, your heart is beating at an unprecedented rate and you feel as if though you are the greatest person on Earth and that even Beyonce can't resist you now!

The unique thing about bungeeing at Bloukrans is that they don't lower you to the bottom - you hang upside down about 100m up, until someone rappels down, attaches you to himself, and the two of you are hoisted back to the platform. So you spend a lot of time suspended in midair.

And were those few moments of exhilaration worth having to endure the fearsome prelude? Yes. Would I do it again? Uh huh. Conquer your fears and you will be rewarded, young Grasshopper. Besides, driving with my friend Emily is far more dangerous anyway.