Klip Kop

And the wildebeest said to me "Please do not come any closer, for under this tree I wait for a mate, and I wish not to be disturbed."

So I replied "Don't fear, for once I capture this moment, I shall move further down the valley floor in search of other faces."

This is the Klipkop Wildlife Reserve, a 2000 hectare area of privately owned blankenveld in South Africa's Gauteng province. For the next month, it will be my place of work. And my home. And where I hang out with zebras. Together with 6 other volunteers, I will be part of a conservation program that aims to protect both the fragile vegetation and the animals on the reserve. My boss is Phalalo Phalalo, a 27-year-old Botswanan naturalist who speaks 9 languages and has a commendable propensity for dropping the F-bomb.

Conservation has many facets, and the level of responsibility for running even such a small reserve is high. Soil must be analyzed for nutrient content, fences checked routinely for holes and burrows, and invader plants killed. There is fire prevention, water testing and poaching control. The game itself must be managed: animals must be counted, sexed (get your head out of the gutter, that means determining the sex), supplementary fed and, occasionally, culled. Most of these tasks are performed by the volunteers, since the reserve receives no government funding and a full-time staff is cost-prohibitive. The job diversity is pleasing. One day we could be building a concrete bridge to allow the Land Rovers better access to the watering holes. The next, we could be driving to the local cow slaughterhouse, picking up donated carcasses to feed to the resident hyena population.

Ever look up from your work and discover that a family of giraffe is watching you? Animal interaction is by far the most enjoyable element of Klipkop. We have kudu, eland, springbok, hartebeest, duiker, wildebeest, zebra, gemsbok, impala and a whole wack of other antelope you've never heard of. Look into the sky, and through the blazing veil of the African sun you will spot birds such as vulture and hornbill. Peer below your feet and you will witness the frantic scurrying of dassie and mongoose. At this point you may be wondering if Klipkop is home to anything slightly more intriguing: lion or hippo perhaps. Nope. Aside from the nocturnal hyena, the place is free of predators. This is a good thing - put one leopard in the park and you'd need a guard with a shot gun escorting the volunteers around at all times.

The animals are certainly not confined to the outdoors, either. The farmhouse I sleep in is home to 7 dogs and 4 cats, all of whom were rescued from less fortunate past lives. It makes for quite a motley crew: one of the dogs is 19 and suffers from incontinence. Another lost its lower jaw to cancer and thus walks around with its tongue permanently extended. A third dog has no rear left leg - an injury suffered when a zebra kicked it. This latter dog is Phalalo's favourite: "Thees ees my dog. Don't fuck eet up!"

I love this place. I spend all day outside. I drive around in rusted out jalopies older than me. I'm constantly filthy. My work/life/existence is like a combination of African safari, summer camp and reality show. And when I get home at the end of the day, I drink beers that cost me 65 cents.

Zebras and cheap beer. Throw in some extremely friendly people and a couple of corrupt governments, and you're well on your way to having Africa in a nutshell.