On Safari

Would any journey through Africa be worth its salt if it did not include a safari or two? Paul Theroux thinks so: "That was what visitors did, flying into the international airport that had been built for their convenience, near the animals. But the real country had no connection with that." I disagree. A trip through the African bush is a step into the realm of the Discovery Channel, a glance through a window into the past when the animals roamed free, removed from the fear of being shot or having their habitat consumed by human interests. I say that, if you're here, you might as well go.

My friends concurred, so this past weekend we headed to Kruger Park, 5 of us stuffed into a 1980 Datsun Stanza, in hopes of spotting some strange and wonderful beasts. The Park was the brain child of Paul Kruger, who opened a reserve to the public in 1927. At its inception, Kruger Park was modest in size, though to date it has grown as large as Israel, and is the most highly traveled-to safari destination on the planet.

A strange reality about Africa is that it seems to continually draw the short straw when it comes to just about everything. Raped by imperialists, ravished by famine, plagued by AIDS and beleaguered by poverty... one must wonder just where exactly the bright side of Africa is hiding. Take a safari, and you will see the light: when it comes to having the coolest animals, Africa is the gold medal winner.

Safaris, when portrayed in movies, seem pleasant and straightforward. You put on a funny hat, jump into a Land Rover and spend the day watching prides of lions prance around majestically in front of you. Right? Hmm. In real life, it isn't that simple; fact is, most of the animals are very wary of humans, and therefore elect to spend their time avoiding the roads. Time of day is also a factor, inasmuch as most of the more interesting predators are nocturnal. The only thing you'll catch a leopard doing at 2PM is rolling over in its sleep. As a result, safaris require a lot of diligent concentration and patience. Roads must be navigated slowly, with all eyes fixated outward into the bowels of the underbrush, searching for signs of movement. On occasion, you may be fortunate enough to round a corner and catch a nyala crossing the gravel tracks, but for the most part you must rely on your ability to detect something much less obvious. There are a few tricks you can play to up your chances, however. Finding watering holes is one, since animals tend to congregate there during dry seasons. A more cheesy way is to latch on to one of the big lumbering safari vans, which are operated by guides trained in the art of spotting the good stuff. Every so often then vans will slam on their brakes, and an arsenal of 60000mm zoom lenses will extend out the side, each one attached to the flubbery arm of some mammoth sized German tourist. Follow the line of sight of the cameras, and you'll see whatever is out there lurking.

A quick list of our more satisfying finds: elephant - TONS OF ELEPHANT!!! - white rhino, buffalo, hippo, cheetah, baboons, vervet monkey, crocodile and of course the prerequisite 10,000 impala. The impala are known as the McDonalds of Kruger, since they come with black stripes shaped like an 'M' on their asses, and just about every other animal eats them. We unfortunately missed seeing a lion or leopard, which together with the rhino, elephant and buffalo make up Africa's "Big 5". But that's alright. A few days from now we'll get a second chance during a visit to Chobe National Park in Botswana.

My last $0.02 regarding safaris? They are definitely touristy, even a bit kitsch, and are certainly geared towards the lazy traveling set. If you fly all the way here just to visit Kruger and then return home, having made little effort to soak up any real African culture, waxing poetic all the while about how you've "done Africa", then Theroux's got you pinned: you're lame. But for a country like South Africa, generally immersed in problems, seeing a well-managed reserve such as Kruger is a breath of fresh air. The animals are flourishing - a far cry from the days when tourists used to flock here to shoot them.

To close, your cool fact of the day: safari is the Swahili word for journey.