Ticket to Ride

LADIES and GENTLEMEN,

welcome to the main event.

We ask you to please take your seats, grab a firm hold of your beer, and affix your eyes to the screen. Because tonight, an epic battle will begin.

Let us introduce our opponents.

In the first corner, wearing the extremely dirty shorts and weighing in at a respectable 68kg, representing the City of Edmonton, the Nation of Canada and the Legion of Dudes Who Like to Keep it Real... Miiiiiike Hudson!

[cue ringside announcer]: Mike Hudson! What can we say about this boy other than that he has a penchant for troublemaking on foreign soil? Tonight, he puts his perfect 2-0 record on the line, having already emerged victorious from previous clashes with South America and Africa, though it is worth remembering that the latter nearly KO'd Mike with its double-pronged attack of ebola virus and political turmoil! Have 12 months of traveling turned Mike into the Indomitable Man of Steel, or have his nerves been worn down to the quick? Only time will tell!

And in the other corner, weighing in at a continental 10^22 kilograms, representing a panoply of nations that includes India and East Timor, big enough to see from Space and bad enough to unleash Avian flu, striking fear into the hearts of its opponents from Peshawar to the Pacific Rim... Southeeeeeeeast Asia!

[cue ringside announcer]: Southeast Asia! A place so mystical, so magical, so colossal, so... selcouth? ... that it has been attracting Western opportunists since Magellan was but a wee lad! But don't go thinking that Asia is nothing but ethereal beauty and fresh pineapple, because this bad boy has a real mean streak and a potent supply of weaponry. Volatile Indian curries! Fanatical Burmese military juntas! Third degree Thai sunburns! Bureaucratic Singaporean anti-chewing-gum laws! Yep, it's safe to say that Asia's got enough trials and tribulations to send even the most seasoned backpacker heading for the creature comforts of home. Will Mike be able to tame the Oriental beast? Or will he be left crawling back to Canada, relegated to a life of fast food, the second season of Grey's Anatomy on DVD, and *GASP* a real job?

Buckle your safety harnesses. Mike Hudson and Southeast Asia are on a high-speed collision course. Premiering January 23.

Let's get ready for some rumblination.