Dear Reader: In my continued effort to keep this blog interesting, I have decided to write today's post in the form of a lyrical poem. The topic of discussion is my recent visit to The Tate Modern museum in London. I've made reference to four works of art in the text. Links go to images of those works.
And, in the spirit of nonsensical art, I have entitled this poem "A Mockery of the Justice Hitherto Five Neurons of Fluffy Elephant Pants".
There once was a place called The Tate
A museum they all claimed was great
So one day last week
I went for a peek
And now I've a tale to relate
The art that they house there is 'modern'
Which I've always found a bit odd and
Totally shit
Well there, I've said it
So now I will beg all your pardons
But I'm not of the ignorant sort
Who makes statements he cannot support
So here's some examples
That is to say samples
Of why I feel this stuff falls short
Take this composition by Judd
It's a box pinned together with studs!
It could have been made
By a kid in 4th grade
Which is why I think Judd is a dud
Or consider Bueys' Felt Suit
For which I do not give a hoot
How long did it take?
A minute to make?
You could buy that at Wal Mart, you coot!
This painting by Bart van der Leck
Makes me want to go break by own neck
This is art? No it aint!
Could this guy even paint?
It looks like it was drawn by Shrek
And then there are pieces like this
The point of which I must have missed
If you ask me the artist
Is simply retarded
And literally taking the piss
To summarize: modern art's crazy
The artists – genuis or lazy?
Well if you ask me
Then it's easy to see
That their sense of perception is hazy
But if you're the type who would say
That convention has had its day
Then it's prob'ly true
That The Tate is for you
(Admission is free anyway)
But don't ask me if we can meet
For a date at The Tate, my sweet
You'll be there alone
Since I'll likely go home
Or perhaps to the pub down the street
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4 comments:
Wow. This is why you couldn't come with us to Greenwich yesterday, eh?
Made it back. Weather sucks here. Would much rather be back there drinking in pubs and making fun of art. Did you ever find that photo you liked?
I liked the Tate. If nothing it was interesting. Like you said, it's free. And despite the total shit pieces in there, there are some decent ones. And the building itself is nice.
marcel duchamp's "fountain"? man, don't even front like you didn't get a kick out of that! you are right, though, he was taking the piss. just like his contemporary's poop-in-a-box piece. sounds like something we would have come up with in high school if we'd taken art and hancock had been our teacher.
speaking of which, nice super-limerick, nukkah. ;) i don't know if it technically counts as lyrical, but when you sing that ish on the guitar part i'm writing for it, it sure as hell will be. woot!
Sounds like what Calvin would write were he older! :)
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