Writing is often easier when someone else is doing it for you. Please enjoy a selection of literary gems as taken from a sign posted on the wall of my guesthouse in Mbeya, Tanzania.
"WARSAME GUEST HOUSE is famous for cleanliness, peace and safety. [Editor's Note: Cleanliness? I have issues with that.] To maintain such situation for making your stay unforgettable we invite your cooperation as hereunder:
-When the room is handed over to you fill the guestbook and pay immediately the required sum of money. [So far so good]
-It is not allowed for anyone who is not a tenant to pop in the Guest House, to make the Guest House as a hideout for express sex services. [I couldn't have written that one better]
-It is not allowed for the Guest House to be a gathering place or jobless corner. [Right... there are about 10 old Tanzanian guys doing absolutely fuckall on the front stoop as I'm recording this]
-Make sure you hand over all your money, weapons and valuables as suddenly as you enter the room. [I had to give them my M-16]
-It is forbidden to make noise or any form of assault at the Guest House [Well that ruins MY plans]
-It is not allowed to take a drink in the Guest House or being in possession of any of the toxic elements. [Good thing I left my Polonium in Malawi]
-It is the duty of everyone to ensure our surrounding are clean. It is sad to note that some customers use bed sheets and blankets for personal cleaning after sexual acts. [I'll say! I USED that blanket!]
-The room should be handed over at 10AM if you are not entrusted with occupying it otherwise cost for another day will be charged.
UTAWALA - WARSAME GUEST HOUSE
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1 comment:
Are you sure that was a guest house? Take care :) Carina
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