Singapura

I checked the international weather forecast the other day.

In Singapore, the temperature was +33C.
In Edmonton it was -1C.
In Winnipeg it was 0C.
In Halifax it was -4C and in Paris it was +2C.
In Norway, America, England, Japan and all the other countries that host a member of my readership, there were differing temperatures, but all of them had one thing in common: they were colder than Singapore.

I WIN!!!!

But wait! Before you go buying that plane ticket to come visit me here, consider this: Singapore has a number of diabolical laws that restrict your basic rights and freedoms, such that the temperature change might not be worth all the hassle.

For instance, those of you in Edmonton may spit freely onto the roadside, whereas I may not.
Those of you in Winnipeg are free to smoke cigarettes, whereas I am not free to do so.
Those of you in Halifax are welcome to masticate a bit of chewing gum, whereas I am quite unwelcome to masticate said gum.
Those of you in Paris are at liberty to curb your dog on the streetside, whereas I may claim no such liberty.
And finally, those of you in Norway, America, England and Japan are invited to take long, hot showers of any chosen duration, whereas no equivalent invitation has been extended to myself, on the grounds that water wastage, like spitting, smoking, gum-chewing and animal-poop-permitting, are fineable offences in Singapore.

But I digress. The thing is, Singapore IS worth a cursory visit, even if you can't do as you normally would do back home.

When you get here, you might notice what I did immediately: that the city is religiously kept spic-and-span. There is no litter on the sidewalks, no pollution caused by congested traffic, no gang of homeless people snoozing on the grates and, without exception, no cows.

So what is there, then? A bunch of Asian people puttering about in an oasis of electronics shops, highrise buildings, palm-lined avenues and overpriced restaurants, from what I could tell. Doesn't sound overly arresting, though for me it all represented the polar opposite of India, and I was tickled pink to bask in the benignity of the place.

Which is not to say I accomplished much during my time here. You can attribute that to two things. First, Singapore's "attractions" are all a bit naff: they have a botanical garden, some temples, a zoo, a cable car that takes you to a theme park on a man-made island, and a swath of pricey shopping centres. Second, I met some great people at the hostel, most of them guys from England, which meant that I routinely commenced quaffing the beers at around noon everyday, thus rendering myself useless when it came to exploring. I regret nothing.

I did manage to fill my hollow legs with some decent food, however. Singapore has a well-deserved reputation for serving some fantastic cuisine, from tangy scallop laksas to Szechuan-style roast duck to ramen noodles simmering in fragrant dashi. After having poisoned my body with oily curries for the previous two months, I felt like I'd discovered the gastronomical fountain of youth. My love of food was once again restored!

So. Singapore. Strange place, very clean, cost-prohibitive, bit boring, tasty lunches, lotta shopping, been dere done dat.

Didn't buy the t-shirt. Too expensive.

........46........47........48......eh, Dad?